Little Moments

Tuesday's Jackson has school. I drop him off right before picking Emmy up from school. I try to make that hour and a half each week our special time. We usually go to lunch and laugh about things or talk about school. Today we decided to take some shoes back to TJ Maxx and get her some new clothes for our trip later this week.

She is so much like Matt. She is just a sweet kind spirit and does not want anyone to hurt for any reason. She is like me in the sense she loves shopping. As we walked the aisles she would pick things up and tell " this is beyond adorable mom" or " who would buy this silly thing".

As we were driving to pick up Jackson. I dont know what I said that was so funny but all of a sudden she says "mom you are one silly puppet" :) She is full of love , happieness and humor. She makes me laugh daily and is more then willing to help with everything.

When we got into Jacksons class room you could tell he was upset. Before I had the chance Emmy was by his side hugging him. Jackson would not let go.

I am grateful for these little moments. I love the smiles my kids bring to my face.

Easter Pics 2012

Once again Butterfly Love Photography did amazing. I love my sweet kids and am so excited for Easter!

Scary Day!

Not being able to breath was not going to stop this kiddo from enjoying an ambulance ride

Last night Jackson woke up at 2:16 to be exact and was having a hard time breathing and coughing hard. I took him outside for a walk and let him sleep with us. I was pretty sure it was croup because Emmy has had. He was still having a hard time but was doing ok throughout the night.

I had planned for today to be a "get better, lazy movie day" I woke up, gave the kids a bath in a misty bathroom and had cleaned the house. Lunch time came and went and before I knew it it was nap time. About 20 minutes into Jackson's nap i herd him whimpering. I think as a mother you know what different crys your kids have. I went in his room to check on him. My baby was blue in the face and mouth and was gasping so hard for air.

Watching my baby like that was so heartbreaking! He gave me a desperate "help me" look and i just felt horrible because there was nothing I could do for him.

I hurried and threw the kids in the car and raced to the hospital since it is so close to us. When we got there his breathing had gotten a little better but he was still struggling. His oxygen levels were in the low 80's and he was miserable. The doctors started steroids and breathing treatments right away. After about an hour he seemed to be doing better. His oxygen levels had gone up and he was acting like himself.We had to stay for the doctors to monitor him for 4 hours just to make sure he was recovering. 45 min into waiting his oxygen levels dropped again to the low 80's and he was having a hard time breathing. They decided it was best to transfer him to Primary Children's Hospital via ambulance.

Jackson is such a funny kid.He is into everything, curious, funny and mischievous. He is the toughest kid you will ever meet but is totally a softy at heart. My poor baby who couldn't breath and was beyond sick sat in the ambulance and just smiled. He was so happy to be riding in it and thought it was to coolest thing ever even if he was sick. I wish I could have that outlook on life more often!

When we got to the hospital his levels were still low. They gave him some oxygen and we played the waiting game. He did well and released us 5 hours later confident that the steroids had kicked in.

Today was scary but a good reminder on how special my family is. I simply love them more then anything.

Snow Siblings

We finally had enough snow to make a snow brother and sister. The kids were so excited that they matched them. We love snow days but are happily awaiting spring!

Gratitude

This blog is an emotional one for me. I am teary eyed just writing about this. My story starts a little less then 2 years ago...

Jackson was about 8 months old. I noticed he was not clapping or waving and brought it up with my dr. He said he was doing well in all other places and that it would come. When he was a year he was clapping and waving like the dr said but he was slower at speech. I brought my concerns up with the dr. Again he told me that he was doing well in all other areas at that it would come. 18 months rolled around. He was still quite slow in speech but doing well everywhere else. 24 months came and went and still slowly making some progress but not a ton. Tantrums were often and I could tell my baby was struggling because he could not communicate with me.

When Jackson was 8 months old I also read something about autism... It scared me to death and I have not been able to drop it since. while he has never had any of the red flags he did have some of the smaller signs. If you know me you know since Matt has been diagnosed with Diabetes I have been a crazy person. I worry all the time and think the worst will happen so I prepare for it. I truly believed in my heart that he had it and no one would listen. I would cry myself to sleep for months. The thought of having a child with a disibility was too much for me to handle. I have truly been insane for the past 2 years worrying about this.

I remember in the middle of all of this Jackson was having his first birthday party. I spent weeks and weeks planning it. He had a barn theme and where else would be other then Wheeler Farm. We had about 50 people coming and everything was ready. We got the kids in the car and drove to Wheeler Farm... To make a long story short they were having an AUTISM fair and there was no where for us to have the party. We ended up moving the location to a park by our house but i truly felt like it was a sign. I still to this day can not look at the pictures because it makes me so upset.

To make a long story short we decided along with my Dr. that getting his hearing evaluated and getting him tested by the school district would be best. This was such a hard call for me to make because I knew if something was wrong I was going to know soon. Some people might think that is crazy but I didnt want to know if he did have autism because it was too much for me to handle. I finally decided to make the call and I am so glad I did. They determined he has a VERY VERY small low frequency hearing problem contributing to his speech. We have since been working with a speech therapist and Jackson started school once a week. They also have been evaluating him for autism and it has been ruled out.

My baby is doing so well communicating. I talk to him at night. He answers me and is saying 3,4 and 5 word sentences sometimes even!!! This is huge!!!!

My reason for this post is to say I KNOW my Heavenly Father hears me and answers my prayers. I have prayed about 10 times a day for this and my prayers have been answered. I am so grateful for my sweet boy and all the joy he brings. I love communicating with him and am so glad we figured this out. In the few short weeks he has been doing this he has come leaps and bounds and his tantrums are very few and far between. I know I am a crazy person but I truly have been grateful for this trial. I know that it has been hell going through it but because of it I am a more patient person and not so quick to judge. I am grateful for the resources that I have had and for a Dr. who understands me. I am grateful for a loving husband and 2 wonderful kids. I am just grateful today because I can put this behind me and move forward.

1st Day of School

Jackson has been working hard with us and a speech therapist lately. A few weeks ago it was suggested he go to a small school class once a week. Today was that day. I could not sleep last night and of course cried when I left him. I was happy to hear he did great and that is speech is doing GREAT!!! I am so grateful for this little guy and am happy he is learning new things.

Jackson

To make a long story short we have recently found out that Jackson has a low frequency hearing problem. We recently had him evaluated by the school district due to speech problems. He has come such a long way but I could tell something was wrong. He is communicating so well lately but has such a hard time with certain sounds. He also seems to not hear you sometimes when you talk soft or is not looking at you.

I know things will be ok and know that trials in our lives are here to help us. That being said it is so hard for me to watch my baby and know that something may be wrong long term. I love my kids more then anything and would do anything for them. I want them to live normal, happy lives and be kind, generous and dedicated people. It breaks my heart to think that Jackson may have a harder time then others... I am so grateful for my family and know how blessed I am!!!

Please say a little prayer if you have a moment for out little guy. We are going in for more tests over the next few weeks to find out what we need to do and will know the extent of his hearing loss. We also will be going to an ear, nose and throat dr to get his tonsils evaluated and hearing tested again. I am beyond blessed and hope that whatever the future holds we will be able to overcome it.