Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Gratitude

This blog is an emotional one for me. I am teary eyed just writing about this. My story starts a little less then 2 years ago...

Jackson was about 8 months old. I noticed he was not clapping or waving and brought it up with my dr. He said he was doing well in all other places and that it would come. When he was a year he was clapping and waving like the dr said but he was slower at speech. I brought my concerns up with the dr. Again he told me that he was doing well in all other areas at that it would come. 18 months rolled around. He was still quite slow in speech but doing well everywhere else. 24 months came and went and still slowly making some progress but not a ton. Tantrums were often and I could tell my baby was struggling because he could not communicate with me.

When Jackson was 8 months old I also read something about autism... It scared me to death and I have not been able to drop it since. while he has never had any of the red flags he did have some of the smaller signs. If you know me you know since Matt has been diagnosed with Diabetes I have been a crazy person. I worry all the time and think the worst will happen so I prepare for it. I truly believed in my heart that he had it and no one would listen. I would cry myself to sleep for months. The thought of having a child with a disibility was too much for me to handle. I have truly been insane for the past 2 years worrying about this.

I remember in the middle of all of this Jackson was having his first birthday party. I spent weeks and weeks planning it. He had a barn theme and where else would be other then Wheeler Farm. We had about 50 people coming and everything was ready. We got the kids in the car and drove to Wheeler Farm... To make a long story short they were having an AUTISM fair and there was no where for us to have the party. We ended up moving the location to a park by our house but i truly felt like it was a sign. I still to this day can not look at the pictures because it makes me so upset.

To make a long story short we decided along with my Dr. that getting his hearing evaluated and getting him tested by the school district would be best. This was such a hard call for me to make because I knew if something was wrong I was going to know soon. Some people might think that is crazy but I didnt want to know if he did have autism because it was too much for me to handle. I finally decided to make the call and I am so glad I did. They determined he has a VERY VERY small low frequency hearing problem contributing to his speech. We have since been working with a speech therapist and Jackson started school once a week. They also have been evaluating him for autism and it has been ruled out.

My baby is doing so well communicating. I talk to him at night. He answers me and is saying 3,4 and 5 word sentences sometimes even!!! This is huge!!!!

My reason for this post is to say I KNOW my Heavenly Father hears me and answers my prayers. I have prayed about 10 times a day for this and my prayers have been answered. I am so grateful for my sweet boy and all the joy he brings. I love communicating with him and am so glad we figured this out. In the few short weeks he has been doing this he has come leaps and bounds and his tantrums are very few and far between. I know I am a crazy person but I truly have been grateful for this trial. I know that it has been hell going through it but because of it I am a more patient person and not so quick to judge. I am grateful for the resources that I have had and for a Dr. who understands me. I am grateful for a loving husband and 2 wonderful kids. I am just grateful today because I can put this behind me and move forward.

3 comments:

Kristen said...

I'm sorry you have been worrying so much Teish. Motherhood comes with that more often than not and it's hard. I am so glad that Jackson is on his way to getting "better." Now that you know what the problem is you and he will be able to work harder at communicating and put your mind at ease. Let me know if you need anything! Jackson is as cute as ever!

Randi said...

I am so glad that he is doing well and that your mind is at ease. Its hard to worry and worry about your kids and facing a disability would be dificult but I am so glad that you dont have to!

mahimalik said...

crank up the hits to your web address ... no cost